Events leading up to the decision to leave / divorce my husband

It's mere days before Christmas 2009, and I have no Christmas spirit. I should be absolutely thrilled, for Christmas is starting to turn out to be a fabulous event. My family is all meeting over at mother's house for gift exchange and dinner. These events from my childhood should have me jumping for joy and excited, but I am miserable.

For the past six months, my husband, who is on active duty in the state, has been telling me not to worry about the fact his deployment is coming to an end. He has been claiming that he will take care of it and he will be extended for another six months, but tomorrow is his end date and he has not taken care of it. He WILL be coming home for good.

This is not the drama issue. I have been asking him if I need to plan to save money to ensure that we have money to pay the bills if he does come home, and he told me no we would be fine because he is extending his stay. I am a substitute teacher and a student, so I have asked him if I should work a five day work week so we would have the extra money, or go ahead and work really hard at finishing up my degree so I can make an extra 9 dollars an hour. He told me to finish my degree.

Here's the drama. He's coming home, and we are broke. After reviewing our finances for January with his final military paycheck, we will be over 2600 dollars short. We can't even pay our mortgage. I have been asking him if we will be okay for the past six months, and I trusted him. I should have known better. I always trust him, and he always screws me over. I should have known this was the probable outcome. He never keeps his promises or his word. He has cheated on me at least once-with my little sister. He has the IQ of a sixth grader. I am left with all of the stresses of raising a child without the joy of having one.

I am at the end. I can't do it anymore. I can not be the only mature one in this relationship. I have not been happy in the past six years. I use to be giggly box and smiley, and now I can barely get out of bed in the morning.

I am through with him. I have made an ultimatum.

The Ultimatum

The Ultimatum is simple fix it, make me smile again, or I am gone. I have already made arrangements for myself and my babies (six cats). February 1st if he has not changed his behavior drastically I am gone.

All I want from him is:

• For him to actually care about me (after I told him that I was going to leave, he went back to hang out with his friends and watch a movie).
• A little more romance (when I met my husband, he would by every girl at work roses just to cheer them up-he has never bought me flowers just to cheer me up- EVER)
• to be financially stable (I don't want the stress of wondering if we are going to be in the hole every month. I work-I work two jobs, and I make more than he does)
• for him to have a little drive (I am an intelligent person, and I want him to try. Where does his passion lie? Does he have any life goals? He is simply skating through life, who cares if it ends tomorrow.)
• To be well educated (I just want to have a conversation with him, and for him not to make up lies and figures)

What I am willing to give:

• Anything (I will do whatever it takes to help him achieve these goals)

What I need:

• An outside voice to help guide me
• Some one to listen to my story without judgment
• HELP